Reign out

The silence is screaming at me
As I press the veins in my temple
Temper fueled rage imprisoning my mental
Writing out my problems while the paper’s begging me to be gentle
Really I’m just warming up hope the pressure doesn’t kill you…

reign out
LET THE TRUTH REIGN OUT!

Compressed flaws, restricted arms so I can never reach out
Speech impediment for assistance so I can never speak out
See my head hung low but you deny any doubt
That this warrior from the sun could ever have any clouds

reign out
LET THE TRUTH REIGN OUT!

Friends do what they can
but I could never understand
how the minister of my soul
fucked my ex girlfriend…
While I loved her, & no it was no secret.
I was blinded by his teaching
And the venom in his preaching

But I forgave…
AND SHIT THE PAIN STILL STAYS
as I agreed to be a groomsmen on his coming wedding day…

reign out
LET THE TRUTH REIGN OUT!

Loyalty embedded in her DNA
my antibodies pushes her away
She’s immune to my bullshit
So for some reason she stays

…she should leave
Not what I want but what she needs
Cuz my father wasn’t shit
And I’m bound to repeat
Fear of hurting her
leads me to deserting her
She offers bliss
I’m Self sabotaging this
Kamikaze to the vision of us and happiness

reign out
LET THE TRUTH REIGN OUT!

Moms expects me to save her
When I can’t save myself
While her drug and alcohol habits
Chips away at her health
And I don’t know what to do
So I pretend to be stealth
Ignoring phone calls and texts messages for help
I got my own problems and I don’t know how to solve em
Yet she wants to be a mother
But I can’t really trust her

Taking money out my room
No heat in the house
serving gravy sandwiches without a word out her mouth
Bout her own life choices
Naw she never really bothered
Yet she was real quick to blame it all on my father

reign out
LET THE TRUTH REIGN OUT!

As a kid I was scared
Yet you were never there
Till this day I wonder why my father never cared.
“Cut that cryin shit out” your words echo through my thoughts
Visualizing you paying for forgiveness with the toys that you bought.
But it was your time that I sought
Your distance cut like a saw
Yet I copied EVERYTHING that I seen in the raw
Now I’m a spitting image of you
From the smile too the frown
And I continue too reach for you
And you still let me down

reign out
LET THE TRUTH REIGN OUT!

Strong as I can be
yet I can’t even stand me
Minister of the word but i curse such blaspheme
A friend to weak, too the lost and confused
While the core of my existence continues to be abused…by me.
Expectations of my actions unaligned by my infractions
Extends the equation
yet I hate waiting
& God continues to teach patience by making me a patient.
Maybe I need therapy, cuz I study HIStory yet no A.D. or B.C has saved me.

Now the reign starts to fall, as I finally realize that I’ve done nothing at all
But blame all y’all.
For the quicksand that I am in
Yelling 100 Hail Mary’s to the heavens while sinking.

Father hear my cries again
Save me from my sins
All I ever wanted was a fair chance to win
For piece of what they have
Instead of what You had in store.
I open my arms to receive all You have for me and more
I’ll stop doubting benefits
Give me the benefit of doubt
Let Your melodies of heaven…

reign out
I’m out

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About LuHeff
I am one of the lost poets (naw really im lost) Minister/Sigma/MSUSpartan follow at @LuHeff

2 Responses to Reign out

  1. PH says:

    Touching. Deep. Heartbreaking. Raw.

  2. SoulUrge3 says:

    …I didn’t want it to end.

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