The “B” (3/3)

She’s in heaven I’m sure and there’s no doubt about itIf you asked her for something you’re sure to hear about it.. 

how hard she worked -so her dollar had a worth 

Only person who would give you the money and make your spirit hurt for asking.
I reflect on these moments and catch myself laughing. 

Never spent the time that I could 

And now that time is gone for good

I miss her like crazy cuz of her I’m not lazy 

She was one hell of a lady and I am her grand-baby. 

I walk now in a way I can see

I speak softly but don’t ever try me

A lot of who I am or more of who I can be 

I owe it to the one they call “B”

The “B” (2/3)

Never said she loved me but she always meant it. Gave me my only care package in college but didn’t send it. 

Hugged me a few times and I read between the lines. 

Would always give me candy but no nursery rhymes. 

Put a ball in my hand before my dad did, could never really fathom why I was sad kid
Anything I would ask for she would hand it

Yet I always felt so empty handed

The “B” (1/3)

Pick ya head up when you walk, you gon get knocked over the head. I listen to voice of what Willie B said.
Tears don’t move me, made me feel she doesn’t give a fuck. But it taught me that a real man always makes his own luck. 
Almost made me feel bad cuz I didn’t know what she meant, but it definitely showed me the value of common sense. 
These life lessons lasted longer than her life, they live in my memories as if they happened last night. 

…518

Dancing in the middle of the street
…with a song on repeat
Rhythmic movement tripping over my own feet
I escape…

The sounds of the cars don’t pollute my mind
In fact at this moment in time
I’m free

Arms spread wide spinning in circles with my eyes closed
Seeing things unseen I conquered the theory of time fold
My souls old

“It seems, as one becomes older,
That the past has another pattern,
and ceases to be a mere sequence…”
Or a trance, non happenstance…
So im in the present partnered
with dance

…518

Cracked Crayola

Cracked Crayola

Broken Crayons and blank canvases
formula for the colors
yet I don’t know what the answer is

Masterpieces from disasters, no sharpener on the box
using the brown backend to outline the jagged rocks

Lightly shading clouds with the unraveled paper of blue
dreaming of being with the picture cuz it’s a better view

Bright sun rays set a blaze for a scene that looks mellow
outlined my shine with dull reds crumbled yellows

Envisioned with smiles though it looks sharp and mean
all my blades of grass are the same color green

And the recked rec center field appears to be Wales mountain Blorenge
so I sketch it on out with my half pieces of orange

There’s people all around staring at what I’m wearing
while trying to discover…
…My suit it’s purple got it at Shoppers World with my mother
with my black penny loafer they were hand me downs from my brother

Broken Crayons and blank canvases
formula for the colors
yet I don’t know what the answer is

I draw what I see and it’s never what it appears
there has to be more than 7mile
man I gotta get outta here

Couldn’t complain that my hand wasn’t the same
it was awkward like being 10 times the size of your nickname
Let them have their 24
you take that 8
with the right frame of mind your image will still be great

Lifes ups and downs all comes with the mixture
take whatever colors you have and make the perfect picture

Cracked Crayola

67 Days in Alaska (Psalm 30:5)

read my devotional today
it said the sun was on the way
weeping may endure for a night
but everything will be ok

so young boy just hold on tight
the darkness cant survive the light
just cuz they’re wrong don’t mean you’re right
life’s a battle you have to fight

…but why,
your purpose of life is not to die
fulfilling your destiny is life’s mystery why lie
while mingling through the millennium you’ve missed your chance to fly
ith every breath of forgiveness in your lungs He’s begging you to try…just try

do all that you can and with everything you can you do
so empty out your spirit and God will do the rest for you
timeliness is God’s decide so your patience must be trust
for if your seed was over anxious for the harvest would you ever enjoy the fruit

Yes the time seems endless and you were once seen fearless
I need you to hear this…

plant your feet firm in the wild
…don’t you run child

it’s been dim for a while
can’t see the shine for some miles

but the rays will arise
bright as bold look alive

if you’re resting in your demise
read Psalm 30:5

Make Your Place Here

Drawn into you like a magnetic field 

Clinging to every single emotion I have for you

Rather it be too soon or right on time Fuck safe! That’s the best part! It’s unsafe 

To arrive with such force 

And for a moment Im one with your supernatural being 

& I’ve lost all control I’ve relinquished all power 

It was natural like I just seen stars heard screams nails piercing my back bites on my neck, Shake and jerk push and pull come but do not go…

No please don’t go… Make your place here


Make your place here redecorate the interior
You can stay for a while 

Thats if you don’t have somewhere else to be

Paint the walls if you must, but the mess is yours to clean up

Be careful when moving the furniture I don’t want the floors to get damaged 

Everything has a place as there’s a place for everything 

so place those things properly if you know what I mean 

I’ve seen this space be shared for two

So yes please don’t leave… Make your place here

Less Than Not Equal To (Part 1)

My math has been wrong 

For feelings that were too strong 

& I don’t know what to do 

Less Than Not Equal To


Sharp as a tack, when I attack or react 

So when they push me to that point tact is what I lack

I don’t believe in mercy only forcing them to regret, 

U won’t get the same pity I show a kid or a pet 


I’m only significant 

to those who know my reach is infinite 

But those who only want the benefit 

I can’t get up I’m impotent. 

I am one of one so there can be no equivalent 

Firm in my stance so I don’t break or bend a bit


Open my chest plate, and pulled my heart from the inside 

exposed it to you watching you take me for a ride 

through your galaxy as asteroids destroyed my faux steroid muscles, 

i tussled with gravity that never pulled me close enough to touch you

you were so out of this world 

I was so out of my mind 

for some dumb reason I thought stars would align 

ignoring the warning signs 


Knowing I could put on a facade or just self sabotage

Bomb like kamikaze or chop like karate. 

I mended broken bridges, used band aids for fixes 

While you took doors off the hinges and cut holes in picket fences 

While I was on some build it and they would come 

You were more break it and being dumb 

Which may work for some 

But I’m honestly not the one


Warning of mentally checking out cuz i wanted to be fair 

Never asking for too much just that you’ll always be there 

But you were so far left that I was always right, 

pride wouldn’t let me submit so you chose to fight 


Debating without logic sounds like common rhetoric 

eventually my intellect just got ahead of it, 

& you got ahead of that and decided to shut down 

royally damaging the kingdom heavy is the head that wears the crown. 


My math has been wrong 

For feelings that were too strong 

& I don’t know what to do 

Less Than Not Equal To…part 1 

A note from Banner

Banner

They loved him calm, intelligent, collected.
His intellect was one that was highly respected.

Underneath it all was a monster in rage locked in a cage
to afraid to face the mistakes that he had made.

Destroyed everything in his grasp, all the hulk wanted was someone to make him laugh, hold his hand understand make the beautiful moments last… But they left

Can’t blame them for saving themselves for the danger of his gamma couldn’t change the pain he felt. But he hides it. Hides the fact he pushes him away. Hoping someone loves him as strong as he is too stay…but they don’t they couldn’t and they shouldn’t be a fool for loving him from a distance is the only way not too lose.

They created this monster
that I could never conquer
I embraced my pain
hoping things would change
Its a shame what I’ve become
Trying to be what they would want

I couldn’t walk away from pain and I ran away from love.

Banner

A Dream Deferred

Broken beaten battered and bruised
Don’t let my size fool you things hurt me too.
I can’t beat the odds unless I break all the rules
so I’d be praise dancing with Satan while moon lighting with Jesus hoping blessings come through…
God give me a reason to continue

Nightmares causes ulcers waking up in my own blood, washing away all visions killing hope in the flood. Push forward or retreat I cry my eyes when I hear the word
if The Lord chose me why all my dreams deferred.

Family becomes absent they don’t see the picture, fake friends become distant when you thought they would ride wit you,
girls don’t understand what it’s like to be a man that sacrifices for the plan that has a destination but no land.

Nightmares causes ulcers waking up in my own blood, washing away all visions killing hope in the flood. Push forward or retreat I cry my eyes when I hear the word
if The Lord chose me why all my dreams deferred.

I black out see it all from the pain to the product.
They clap for me but they don’t have clue about my conduct.
I’m destroyed covered by illusion of my peers,
trying to carry out the mission while I’m still here.

Nightmares causes ulcers waking up in my own blood, washing away all visions killing hope in the flood. Push forward or retreat I cry my eyes when I hear the word
if The Lord chose me why all my dreams deferred.

Turned the other cheek too many times, lifted my head just a couple more. Every time I checked the board I had the losing score. All those opportunities they’ve been granted I begged for and got slanted Took this as a sign that it’s simply not my time, not designed for the struggle and I’m worn from the grind.

Nightmares causes ulcers waking up in my own blood, washing away all visions killing hope in the flood. Push forward or retreat I cry my eyes when I hear the word
if The Lord chose me why all my dreams deferred.

I’m empty I’m feeling lonely my past starting to own me,
no love could console the dreams this world has stole.
My circumstances is different, can’t find anyone to listen,
it’s rage in me thats building.
They’re privileged while I’m hindered. I’m scarred near and far, the light hurts just like the dark, it’s all blackening my heart. My vision has been blurred my speech has been slurred, goals grew wings like a bird…and left me with…

A
A dream
A dream deferred

Unfortunately I regret to inform you all that this will be my final piece until I find peace. The poetry has gotten to a personal level that it’s to “raw” to just share with the world. Thank you all for your continued support, comments, likes and reposts. Poetry for me was a way of coping with the lows of life and celebrating the highs. I hope you all share your gifts and inspire others… Until the words reach you again #Farewell